872 – Luthor, Space Pirate

Luthor playing nice with the Automs in Action Comics #294, Sept 1962
Luthor playing nice with the Automs in Action Comics #294, Sept 1962

The last time we saw Luthor, he was trapped on Roxar, a planet ruled by a sentient race of robots called the Automs. In Action Comics #294 (Sep 1962) we catch up with Luthor, who has decided to make himself useful so that he can escape his prison. I appreciate the attempt at continuity here.

Luthor un-freezing some androids in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

Luthor sneaks into the “freezing pens”, an area where rebellious androids have been put into suspended animation. There, Luthor un-freezes the androids and finds the three smartest ones, callously re-freezing every other android.

Luthor creates Diamond Man, LeadMan and Kryptonite Man in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
Luthor creates Diamond Man, LeadMan and Kryptonite Man in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

Next, Luthor (somehow) transforms these three android into androids made of different materials: Diamond Man, Lead Man, and Kryptonite Man. Using the androids to break into the robot’s radium supply, Luthor steals it and escapes from Roxar with his new android henchmen.

Superman’s “space monitor” begins to light up from various alien planets across space of piracy in action. It’s not really explained how various alien species can talk in real-time with Superman across inter-galactic distances. But anyway, Superman concludes that only one person in the universe is smart enough to arrange the pirate raids: Lex Luthor!

Using his telescopic vision, Superman confirms his suspicion by looking into space at Roxar. Of course if Roxar was several light years away, his telescopic vision should only be showing Roxar as it was years ago, but it seems like it’s a running theme of this story that physical rules of space will just blithely be ignored. Anyway, skip to the chase: Superman catches up with Luthor at his “planetary pirate lair” where Luthor’s androids are starting to have an attack of conscience for all the evil and the piracy.

More casual murder by Superman in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
More casual murder by Superman in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

Luthor sends “Diamond Man” to attack Superman, who very quickly smashes him to bits. Was he sentient? Is this a life form? Did you just murder someone Superman?

Deadly kryptonite rays for Supes in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
Deadly kryptonite rays for Supes in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

Next, Lex sends “Lead Man” followed by “Kryptonite Man”, who knocks Superman on his ass. How will Superman escape this time?

Superman whistles across space in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
Superman whistles across space in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

Superman decides to break the laws of physics once more by sending a supersonic whistle to Roxar. I… I can’t even. But lo and behold, the former-Superman-robot receives the message and is able to travel interstellar distances in the blink of an eye, only to get melted down by Luthor before the robot could save his master. Oh, how can Superman be saved now?

Lead Man explains friendship to Lex in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
Lead Man explains friendship to Lex in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

After witnessing Luthor callously murdering a robot, his android henchmen attack of conscience is complete and he betrays his master. Luthor tries to melt “Lead Man” down, which is just what he wanted to have happen, because he covers “Kryptonite Man” in his molten lead slag, shielding Superman from the kryptonite rays.

I appreciate the attempt to make space full of action and characters, but as a grown-ass adult reading these tales designed for kids, I can’t ignore all the laws of physics being broken!

Luthor snaps in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962
Luthor snaps in Action Comics #294, Sep 1962

As Superman rounds up Luthor, he discovers where the space pirate kept all his treasure and returns it to their rightful owners. This final insult seemingly snaps Luthor’s grip on sanity as he laughs all the way to the penitentiary back on Earth. So much for Luthor-in-space adventures!